Recognition is Never Easy
by Windblown.child
Summary: Howling Rock is a new start for the elves after the palace is restored. Only, one chieftess is struggling to come to terms with a new realization while Skywise tries to figure out which way is up. Together they have to find their own way. Ember/Skywise
1. Soul Meets Soul

Everything recognizable is the property of Wendy and Richard Pini and WaRP Graphics. I just play with their toys

* * *

Soul Meets Soul

Cutter's closest family clung to him as the rest of the tribe stood nearby. They silently watched the great palace of the High Ones sink beneath the waves, taking Rayek and Venka with it. Finally, the chief touched minds with his lifemate, allowing the pain of waiting to fall away, leaving only relief and a sense of home. Nothing else mattered to the elves except for the ones around them.

Despite only a few hours having passed for the cubs, Ember and Suntop knew their father was not the same. They climbed into his arms as the tribe made their way from the craggy beach and refused to let go. Even the low buzz of the tribe's excitement couldn't keep the exhausted children awake.

Long hours later, Ember woke nestled warmly in a pile of furs, suddenly afraid that she had dreamed the previous day. But the unfamiliar wood of the tree and the scents on the air told her it was an entirely different time. To one side, Suntop sat tranquilly communing with Savah after their long separation. She ignored her brother and peeked out of the magically shaped den for her parents.

A flash of white hair in the branches high above caught the cub's attention and she silently climbed up. Skywise didn't acknowledge her approach, so Ember crept up until she could throw her arms around his neck in a surprise hug. The silver haired elf was taken off guard and nearly fell off the branch before he managed to right himself.

"I didn't mean to startle you so bad." The child apologized, blowing a lock of his hair away from her nose.

"It's alright, Ember. I just wasn't paying attention." Skywise continued staring into the woods where his best friend had disappeared earlier in the night with his mate.

She settled more comfortably against the older elf, unaware of the thoughts she was interrupting. "You smell different. Are you alright?"

The stargazer smiled sadly but kept his voice light. "I'll live." And so began a new age.

* * *

Seasons turned as they always do, and the pain of their long wait for the palace to return faded from thought and dreams through the tribe, except for Cutter. For a full blooded Wolfrider, the chief had the longest memory, and sometimes it was difficult to reconcile with the Way. Especially when the Way meant different things for the four tribes that made up their holt.

Go-Backs didn't know how to exist without fighting for something and it was a constant battle to keep them from taunting humans. Aroree thought only of physical pleasures after the ages spent under Winowill's power and blindly followed Skywise. The Sunfolk were adaptable, but moved at a slower pace than the others as they were longer lived and even tempered. But the Wolfriders had the Way.

The Way kept the tribe in balance through the cycle of life and death. Old age was an unknown, as was even the thought of change. For 10 generations, the Way endured unchallenged until Cutter was forced to lead his people away from the forest they knew instinctively from birth. But the hardest choice he ever made was to split the tribe and send his daughter and soul-brother away.

Cutter only forced half the tribe to leave the forest because it meant they would be safe from the humans and the Way would continue. Though young, Ember was a true Wolfrider and would keep them safe. And when she didn't know what to do for the good of the tribe, Skywise would always be there to help guide her. The chief refused to let the sorrow overwhelm him and thought wistfully that they would make a fine lifepair. Perhaps some day he would see them again, if the High Ones allowed it.

* * *

"Cutter would-"

"Finish that sentence and you'll be sleeping alone for a moon."

"But your father would share what was bothering him."

"I'm not my father, Mender." The red haired elf warned the healer.

"But I have to know what happened."

"Leave it alone."

"Don't walk away from me, Ember."

The moment he laid a hand on her arm, the chieftess spun and punched him swiftly in the face. Unprepared for the sudden attack, Mender was knocked to the ground, blood dripping from his nose. He sputtered for a moment as Ember stood over him, fists clenched at her side.

"Never touch me again." The warning was clear. If he dared, she would remove whatever bits offended her.

The healer left his throbbing nose and jumped to his feet. "Wait, you can't be serious."

Ember didn't walk away, but she was tensed and angry. "Of course I can be. We're through."

"Why?" He was genuinely confused as they had been lovemates for several seasons and expected everything to go back to the way it was after rescuing the palace.

"Because you still don't follow me." It felt good to release the poison she had hidden since they had first lain together in the mountains outside Sorrows End. "You only like me because of my parents. Well, I'm not them and I never will be."

"I know you're not them." Mender held his hands out carefully, begging to be allowed to touch her again.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you would have even noticed me if I were Redlance's daughter."

Seconds spun out until the healer couldn't look at his lover. She spoke the truth and it hurt to admit. As he hung his head in shame, Ember softened slightly. "It is simply time for change." With no more words to say, the chieftess walked away into the deepening twilight.

* * *

Ember was so lost in thought, staring at the endless horizon, she didn't notice the soft tickle of scent that betrayed her best friend's appearance.

"Are you done shouting for now?" Skywise teased and settled in the grass at her side.

The redhead looked down at her feet in embarrassment. "You heard that?"

"I doubt there was anyone that didn't hear you."

Ember groaned and leaned back on her arms. "Perfect. Now they'll really never respect me."

Skywise studied his soulbrother's daughter and felt a little flutter of desire. Without Mender warming her furs, she might look to others for comfort. He almost chuckled to himself when he remembered Cutter suggesting he might assist as Ember grew older. He would have jumped at the chance then and still would.

"They don't care who you spend your nights with." The silver haired elf leaned back, mirroring Ember's pose. "They've all had their share of lovemates."

"Father made being chief look so easy."

"He had his share of bad days." Skywise playfully nudged his chief's shoulder with his. "But I always helped him get over it."

Ember caught the playful tone in the older elf's voice and arched an eyebrow. "And just how did you do that?"

"I'd show him the stars." Skywise pointedly looked up at the endless blanket of sky.

She forced the thought of Mender away and focused on the now of wolfthought. "Tell me about the sky pictures."

"Well, you can see them better if you lay back."

Joining with Mender had been sweet and comfortable, like a warm summer night and honey. But she knew summer always gave way to fall. Conversely, Skywise woke something she didn't know was missing. He was the hunt, the blood of a fresh kill, running with the wolf pack. Ember's entire world dwindled to where their bodies touched and she prayed to the High Ones that she would never lose the completeness she felt at that moment.

_Soul meets soul when eyes meet eyes._

The grasslands surrounding them disappeared until all that was left was Skywise's wide eyes and the stars shining behind him. Ember drew in a breath and with the air came the knowledge of who he was. The moment stretched impossibly long and the chieftess waited for her lifemate to speak her soulname but he never did. And the moment was broken as the stargazer trembled letting his eyes slip shut.

_Fahr._

Ember was felt like she was walking on the edge of a cliff, the sea breeze threatening to push her over. There was no possibility it had been anything but recognition and yet Skywise appeared unaffected. Her heart sung to be in his arms as the mother moon wheeled steadily overhead towards morning. But she could not bring herself to give voice the name she knew was his. Unwilling to give up the fleeting moment, the daughter of Cutter Kinseeker remained silent.


	2. When Eyes Meet Eyes

Everything recognizable is the property of Wendy and Richard Pini and WaRP Graphics. I just play with their toys

* * *

When Eyes Meet Eyes

Everyone knew that Skywise never took only one lovemate. Cutter had said it was because he lost his first lovemate too young. Ember had heard stories about Foxfur from the elders that still remembered and it felt like the dead elf was hanging over her, preventing her from reaching Skywise.

The chieftess watched the stargazer lead another elf maiden away to look at the stars and she was filled with anger and pain. Skywise was hers as she knew his soulname as surely as she knew the sun must rise. And yet she could not bring herself to confront the immortal elf.

Ember had to turn away and grit her teeth when girlish giggles drifted through the night air. She longed to lay in his arms for more than a night and to feel his mind's caress. Her whole body cried out for his, even as she could feel the changes beginning. It would still be several moons before she started to show, but she knew a cub had begun growing within her.

The young elf was never far from tears when the mother moon had passed a handful of times. All of the tribe moved carefully around her, afraid to send her crying but unsure what would set her off. At times, just seeing Scouter and Tyleet together would make her eyes water. Just as Ember didn't say what was wrong, no one dared ask lest they be the next yelled at or cried on.

Where others lept into battle without looking, Redlance often took the softer paths and gentle counsel. So it was no surprise that while coaxing moss and ferns to grow in one of the unused cave-dens, Ember came to sit quietly by the elder. Much of the burden of being chief had been lifted by Cutter's return, but in the past moons, everyone knew her hackles would be up at the smallest of things.

When Ember began picking at the freshly grown moss with a serious frown, Redlance broke the comfortable silence. "What's the burr in your tail?"

The chieftess only grunted but she stopped tearing up the soft green moss.

"Thinking about Teir?"

"No. I mean yes." Ember tried not to cringe at the slip. Teir was a good excuse for her attitude as none of the Wolfriders would understand her situation.

"Which is it?"

Grudgingly, but also with relief, Ember admitted the truth. "I haven't really been thinking about Teir."

"So who has you twisted up in strangleweed?" Redlance shaped a group of ferns in a small ledge.

"It doesn't matter." The younger elf flicked a pebble out of the small cave.

"I might believe you if I didn't know you so well."

Silence filled the small space again. "Can you keep a secret? At least until it can't be kept."

Redlance turned away from the unfurling ferns and sat across from the young chief. "Of course, if it does no harm the tribe."

"I just don't want them to know yet."

The treeshaper nodded and waited for her to find the right words. Ember finally just blurted it out before she lost her will to share. "I'm going to have a cub."

Redlance opened his mouth to speak but he didn't know what to say so he closed it again. Cubs were a blessing to the tribe but there had been no whisper of recognition. Indeed, the last the treeshaper had heard, Ember had not welcomed Mender into her den for some time. But a cub, recognition or not, was always cause for celebration.

"That's wonderful! I had no idea you and Mender were trying for a cub."

"Mender and I aren't lovemates any more." Ember went back to sinking her fingers into the moss.

"But Leetah never mentioned helping you as she did for Nightfall and I."

"That's because I didn't require a healer's help."

The elder gasped. "Recognition?"

Ember couldn't hold back her tears any longer and didn't resist when Redlance pulled her into a tight embrace as she sniffled. "It's all wrong!"

"Recognition is never wrong. The High Ones know our own hearts better than we do sometimes."

"But it shouldn't be like this!" Ember fairly wailed into his shoulder, letting the frustration and pain bleed away with her tears.

"Hush now, what's wrong?"

"He didn't recognize me."

"I'm sure he did." If not for the chieftess' insistence she was with child, Redlance might have thought she was simply in love with her chosen mate.

"But he doesn't act any different around me."

"Are you sure it's recognition?"

"I know his soulname." Ember sniffled. "And it's like Scouter said. It feels like sitting in a thorn bush with a sand flea up my nose, gulping overripe dreamberries."

The gentle treeshaper rubbed the young chief's back and sighed. "Does he know you're to have a cub?"

She shook her head and continued clinging to the elder. "You're the only one that knows."

"Well you won't keep it from the others for long."

"I know."

"You should tell him."

"I'm scared to. What if he rejects me and the cub?"

"No one would reject their child."

Ember finally pulled back. "If he doesn't see it's his, he doesn't need to know."

"But who is it?" Redlance couldn't imagine not knowing Tyleet as his daughter and would spare any that loss.

"It doesn't matter" The young elf stood and brushed off her leathers. "Please don't tell anyone, I'm not ready yet."

"Of course, my chief." The treeshaper wanted to know who the father was, but he knew well enough when not to push the stubborn girl.

Ember bounded away towards the den she shared with her parents, leaving Redlance to continue his work and ponder what he had learned.

* * *

Her daughter's small whimpers woke Leetah and she silently crawled over Cutter. Ember tossed and turned in her furs, one arm thrown over her head. Gently, the healer laid a hand on her cub's brow to sooth the dream. As she reached out with her magic, Leetah felt something different about her daughter.

Ember gasped and sat upright, protectively covering her belly only to come face to face with her mother. Leetah stared wide eyed at the young chieftess and slowly reached out her hand again.

"Kitling?"

The young elf didn't know if she should be relieved or cry that her secret was found out so she just nodded and moved her hands. Carefully, the healer touched the almost imperceptible rounding of her daughter's belly and squealed in delight at sensing a healthy cub. Leetah threw her arms around Ember, as the noise woke Cutter.

He grumbled at being woken early until he realized his mate was holding their daughter and crying. "Leetah, what happened?" Instantly, Newmoon was in his hand and he was scenting for danger.

"Oh it's wonderful!"

At the words, Cutter looked again and relaxed that his family was safe. "What happened."

Ember took a deep breath and faced her father. "I'm with child."

For several long moments, Cutter was completely speechless. That was the last thing the half asleep elf had expected. "Wha-when? Who? Why didn't you tell us?"

"Who cares." Leetah shushed her mate and placed her hand over Ember's stomach again. "This is wonderful!"

The Wolfrider chief growled at being brushed away. "If Mender did this to you, I'm going to tear his arms off and make him put himself back together."

"Cutter!" "Father!" The two women were scandalized.

"It wasn't Mender, but it was recognition." Ember tried to sooth her angry father.

Leetah oohed excitedly and felt for the cub again while Cutter, Blood of Ten Chiefs puffed up angrily. "Who?"

"I don't have to tell you that!" Ember kicked off her furs and stomped out of the den.

"Does it matter who the father is?" The healer laid a calming hand on her lifemate's shoulder as she thought of Teir. "Another cub is always a blessing."

"I just never wanted Ember to grow up so fast."


	3. The Truth in Sending

Everything recognizable is the property of Wendy and Richard Pini and WaRP Graphics. I just play with their toys

* * *

The Truth in Sending

It didn't take long for Skywise to realize that Ember was nowhere near Howling Rock. However, it took much longer to find her. The stargazer followed the light scuffs and bent grass left by the young elf's passing, and then he would swear he was tracking a cuphorn only to see bootprints again. Muttering under his breath about animal talking elves, he kept going, letting Timmain pick the path more than once.

The trail crossed itself so many times that Skywise was ready to give up and return to the rock outcropping alone. Only by chance did the stargazer happen to look up just as Ember ducked behind a rock. Timmain easily covered the distance to the hiding elf

"Puckernuts, you're hard to find." Skywise huffed as he sat next to the young chieftess.

"I'm just not ready to face everyone yet."

"I can't blame you there. Everyone wants to know who the lucky elf is."

"Lucky?"

"Sure, if it were me, I'd never let you out of my arms." Skywise smiled winningly at the stunned elf.

When he had heard the news that morning, part of him had been thrilled and hopeful. But then Leetah had confirmed the cub was a product of recognition and his stomach fell. Ember really had recognized Teir and there was no place in her life except as tribemate and elder. Something still drove him to look for the young chief and he would be more than willing to help care for the cub if she wished.

"But you said you didn't want to recognize."

"That was then, but I would take in Teir's cub as my own."

"It's not Teir's." Ember didn't know how to tell the silver haired elf that it was his cub now that she knew he wouldn't turn her away.

"But that means it's someone in the tribe." Skywise shot to his feet before Ember could stop him. "I won't take another's place."

"But it's-" The red haired elf was interrupted by the stargazer suddenly looking into the distance as if he heard something.

"I have to go- the palace."

Before she could call him up short, Skywise lept onto Timmain's back and they ran for Howling Rock. His soulname fluttered against her heart, begging for release. But Ember still could not give voice to the word as she watched him disappear into the tall grass. As mother moon peeked over the edge of the world, the young chieftess got to her feet and slowly followed her unknowing lifemate.

When Ember reached Howling Rock, the tribe was slightly subdued as Skywise had left in the palace to answer Suntop's call. Saying she was exhausted, the young elf crawled into her furs and cried herself to sleep.

* * *

"I have to insist you reconsider."

"I've already decided." Ember ignored the healer trying to stand in her way and picked up her spear and slingshot.

"But you shouldn't go hunting in your condition." Mender tried to reach out and lay a hand on her protruding belly but the chieftess spun away. "The cub could come at any moment."

"It's not time yet and I want fresh meat so I'm going."

"Let me bring you something then."

"I'm not your responsibility, Mender."

"Why won't you let me care for you?" The kindhearted elf couldn't understand why she refused all help.

"Maybe I just want to do this alone."

"And I want to raise my child!"

The healer hardly ever raised his voice, making Ember freeze in her tracks and slowly turn back. "This is not your cub."

"How can you know that? We were lovemates when I returned."

"Because it was recognition and it wasn't you!" The child heavy chief snarled, placing a hand over her swollen abdomen.

"Prove it."

Ember locked eyes with her former lover and sent one direct truth. [I recognized another.] She then spun back towards the path into the grasslands. Finally forced to accept that there can be no lie in sending, Mender recovered enough to grab the end of her spear.

"At least take Choplicker with you."

Shaking off the older elf, the fiery haired chief continued on her way, pointedly leaving her wolf friend behind.

* * *

Skywise had gladly returned to the palace but he had never meant to be gone from the Wolfriders for so long despite his love of the High Ones' ship. Seeing Suntop and the rest of the villagers of Sorrow's End was always welcome, but it also brought back memories. Cutter recognizing Leetah, watching the trial of Head, Hand, and Heart, Suntop and Ember born.

Ember. Everything seemed to remind the stargazer of the feisty chief. Her twin brother, the sand on the ground, the sun in the sky, even the palace made him think of his onetime lover. She probably had given birth to the cub by now, and he wished he had been there. He was sure any child of hers would steal his heart as completely as the stars.

As soon as he began planning ways to spoil the child, the silver haired elf knew he would likely never be more than an elder to the cub. Surely by now Ember and the father would have come to terms with their recognition as it was rarely heard of to raise a child alone. Despite his jealousy, Skywise couldn't bring himself to be angry at Mender if he was the father. And when it came time to return to Howling Rock, he was the most eager.

The palace landed with a thump and the huge doors opened to the cool night air of the plains. Already wolfriders were pouring out of their dens to welcome the returning tribemates but Skywise didn't see the one elf he looked for among the crowd. Before he could be held up by his soulbrother, the stargazer lead Timmain around the corner of the palace and disappeared into the night.

[Ember? Where are you?] When there was no answer to his silent call, Skywise let the white wolf choose her path, periodically calling out to the young elf until he felt her mind touch his.

[Skywise?]

[What are you doing away from the den?]

[Come see.]

Skywise followed the subtle link with Ember's thoughts to a small pile of rocks out of sending range from Howling Rock. There he found the headstrong chieftess sprawled on the ground cleaning her knife, the remains of a pricklehide a few feet away. As the silver haired elf came into view, Ember struggled to her feet to greet her unknowing mate, finally ready to reveal her secret.

"I thought you might never come back."

"It's no Holt, but this is my home. But why are you out here?" Skywise gracefully slid from the High One's back. "I thought the cub would be here already."

"We wanted you to be here." The chief brought his hands to her taut stomach and sighed in contentment. It wouldn't be long before she finally met her cub.

"Why me?"

"Father was there when I was born and you should be here when your child is born."

Of all the things he expected upon seeing the young chief again, this was the furthest from his mind. "But Leetah said it was recognition."

"It was, I felt it."

"But we aren't - I don't know your soulname!" Skywise backpedaled, barely missing stepping in the pricklehide entrails.

"I know yours."

"You can't. It's impossible."

Ember tried to reach out to the stargazer but she overbalanced and fell to her knees. Skywise was caught between fight or flight for an impossibly long moment. And then flight won out. He turned toward Timmain but the shape changed elf shied away, looking at the young chieftess clutching her huge belly. In a desperate need to flee, he ran.


	4. Child of Chiefs

Everything recognizable is the property of Wendy and Richard Pini and WaRP Graphics. I just play with their toys

* * *

Child of Chiefs

Ember overbalanced and fell to her knees. A sharp pain lanced down her side and the elf couldn't help the small sob that escaped her. The cub was coming now and Skywise was backing up. Before the chieftess could beg him to stay, the stargazer sprinted away.

Left alone in the vast grassland, Ember squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to fight her body and the pain radiating from her unborn child. Another wave crashed over her small body and the red haired elf fell sideways onto her back and let out a visceral scream.

It was agony and bliss at the same time. Her body knew what to do and she longed to hold her cub in her arms at last. But she had waited so long to touch her mate and his rejection made her heart hurt more than the childbirth. Delirious with pain and anguish, Ember reached out with her mind.

* * *

[Fahr!]

Skywise stopped instantly in his desperate sprint. It wasn't Cutter sending which meant another knew his soulname. The mind was familiar but he wasn't ready to face the truth. There had never been a one-sided recognition before. Surely it wasn't possible for one to know but not the other. Ember must have heard the name from her father.

[Fahr!]

But even if she wasn't meant to be his lifemate, the desperation in her sending was undeniable. The stargazer turned back the way he had come and hesitated. No one knew where she was and the cub was coming which could be dangerous without a healer. A scream of pain and anguish drifted over the grass and wrapped a strangleweed tendril around his heart. Ignoring the stitch in his side, Skywise retraced his frantic trail.

* * *

Cutter was eager to see his soulbrother again after so many moons apart, but when he reached the palace, the silver haired elf was nowhere to be found. Scouter mentioned seeing the stargazer leading Timmain away from Howling Rock as soon as they landed and the old chief followed the same path with Holdfast. The trail was clear and seemed to have a specific destination rather than wandering through the grasslands.

"Strange." The kinseeker addressed his mount. "Why would Skywise come out here?"

Predictably, the wolf didn't respond so they continued on until a sound carried on the light breeze reached his sensitive ears. The scream made his skin prickle and Cutter drew his sword. Something was hurt in the vast space and Skywise's trail was leading straight towards it. Worried for his soulbrother, the blond elf urged Holdfast into a run.

Suddenly something burst out of the trail ahead, startling the chief. Timmain, still in wolf form seemed relieved to have found him, even as she panted with exhaustion.

[What happened?]"

It was useless to ask the High One anything even through wolfsend. Only Skywise ever understood her. The white wolf whined in frustration and blocked Cutter as he tried to follow the stargazer. She hopped several times in the direction of Howling Rock and whined again. Confused, the chief just stared blankly at the frustrated animal.

Timmain stopped hopping and mimed an injured paw while poking her nose at Cutter's hand. Suddenly the elf understood. [Leetah, Skywise is hurt in the grassland. Come quickly!]

Knowing his lifemate was always fleet on foot when someone was injured, the chief looked to the trail again. The High One gave one last huff and took off towards Howling Rock to lead the healer to them. Cutter and Holdfast moved swiftly closer to to source of the scream and the faint scent of blood.

[Hold on brother.]

* * *

Ember was so focused on giving birth to her child, she was completely unaware that she was no longer alone. Skywise knelt at her side and gripped her hand, giving her something to cling to as she fought for the new life. He had seen many cubs born over his long years, but there were always others with him. Alone, the stargazer didn't know what to do.

The fiery haired chief paused for breath only when she heard the first tiny cries from her cub. But before she could sit up again, Skywise had removed his well worn vest and dried the newborn. Gently he laid the crying child in her arms and watched Ember instinctively offer her breast. The air was filled with hungry suckling and the older elf could only watch in awe.

"Farsky." Ember looked to her onetime lover and hoped beyond reason he had accepted the truth of their joining. "A daughter."

Skywise couldn't look away from the tiny helpless child wrapped in his leathers. It would be so easy to call the child his own but when he felt for the bond of recognition, there was no soulname, only Ember as he had always known her.

"I can't be her father, but I will always be your friend."

Ember turned back to her cub, inhaling the warm scent she already knew and fighting not to cry. "So be it."

The sound of pounding feet had Skywise drawing his sword to defend the helpless elves but he lowered it when Cutter burst through the tall grass. Holdfast came to a halt even as the chief called out to his brother.

"Skywise, Ember - Are you hurt?"

The stargazer stepped back to reveal the new cub as Ember beamed at her father. "We're all fine, just tired." Farsky gave a huge yawn in agreement.

"The cub?"

"A girl. Farsky, for the wide open grasslands and the blanketing sky." She looked pointedly at the reluctant Skywise avoiding her gaze.

He knew it was a barb at him but he couldn't make himself speak as Cutter fawned over the tiny child. Everything was moving too fast, even the ever steady stars seemed jumbled and he reached for the lodestone around his neck. The silver haired elf vaguely wished for the simpler times of just searching for a new home for the Way was clear. Children were born of recognition, and lifepairs were forged among warm furs. The lodestone wouldn't be able to tell him where to go next or how to heal the hurt in Ember's eyes when she looked at him.

"Kitling!" Leetah appeared among the grass and instantly went to her daughter. "Oh Ember, I feared the worst."

"We're fine mother." The chieftess protested as the healer began checking the cub.

"Indeed you are, a healthy little girl. And one sure to bear the gifts of recognition."

Cutter stood proudly over his family and looped his arm around his soulbrother. "Thank you for being here for her."

"I promised you I would." The stargazer shivered at the slight wind over his bare skin.

"And I hope that you still will. She refuses to say who the sire is, but I wish it was you."

Skywise remained silent and lagged behind when they made their way back to Howling Rock.


	5. And Heart Meets Heart

Everything recognizable is the property of Wendy and Richard Pini and WaRP Graphics. I just play with their toys

* * *

And Heart Meets Heart

Three cubs was a wonderful new beginning for the tribe. Pool was beginning to stand on wobbly legs with his mother's help and Sust could sit up on his own, but Farsky was the pride of Howling Rock. Never before had there been two chiefs, let alone three generations of chief in one holt. Nothing could darken their thoughts as they fawned over the child even before she opened her eyes.

Skywise alone hung back from the mass of elves always surrounding Ember. He expected the father to show himself as the proud lifemate of the young chief but no one stepped forward. There was no reason for her to lie to him, but Wolfriders were only born from recognition or with the help of a healer. His eyes fell on the quiet Yun. She was his daughter with a Go-Back when they first sought the palace but he never knew she existed until now.

Having a child was one thing, raising it was another. But what he truly wanted was to experience recognition and the unbreakable bond that formed. The stargazer let himself dream of instinctively knowing another person so completely. He wanted to find that piece of himself he hadn't known was missing. There wasn't anything like it according to those that had experienced it before.

Feeling apart from the tribe as always, Skywise watched the other elves from his perch among the red rocks. He was no longer a Wolfrider by blood and he forced away the fear that he would never recognize. Yet Tyldak had felt the irresistible call to mate despite lacking beast blood so there was still hope. The stargazer's thoughts were interrupted when someone settled on the rock ledge next to him.

Redlance looked from the fiery haired chief to Skywise. "She is a beautiful child."

The silver haired elf didn't answer the elder.

"Many think it is Teir's daughter."

Skywise let an irritated hiss slip through his teeth. "Farsky is not his."

The treeshaper smiled at confirmation of his suspicions. "Why won't you claim her?" Skywise was the only elf not to coo over the cub, yet his eyes never left Farsky and her mother.

"Because I was foolish." The immortal elf answered quietly.

"How so?" Redlance cocked his head in curiosity.

"I thought Ember lied to me." Even as he said the words, Skywise was ashamed of his assumption.

"Why would she have done that?"

"She wouldn't have."

"But you rejected her." The treeshaper's voice was gentle and free of judgment.

"Yes." Skywise hoped that the elder would change the subject and let silence fall between them.

"Do you still?"

Of all the things Skywise had expected to hear, the simple question was a surprise. "I haven't recognized her." Despite his missing wolf blood, the Way was still what he knew best.

"Recognition doesn't matter to the Go-Backs. She carried your child, be there for them."

Everything was always so straightforward to the treeshaper but Skywise resisted. "Ember won't let me."

"Perhaps you have to show her you want to be."

The two elves sat quietly, letting the stargazer mull over the solution presented by the gentle elder. Redlance understood the desire for true recognition, but he also knew the strength of choosing one's own lifemate. There was no other that could be Farsky's sire, so long as he accepted it. After all, recognition was never easy.

* * *

Skywise thought on the elder's advice until he almost fell asleep where he sat but he was still conflicted. The Way held no answers. There was no reason for Ember to forgive his initial rejection when any elf would gladly be her mate. But there was also a part of him that wished he had recognized the chief. Returning to his den, the stargazer wished again to know Ember's soul name as surely as he knew his own. That night, his sleep was fitful.

The silver haired elf ran through the burning sun scorched sand surrounding Sorrow's End, searching for a guiding star to lead him back to the troll tunnel and the great forest. But the sky was empty and the lodestone was gone. Exhaustion overtook his small body and he collapsed to the ground, aware only of his heart pounding in his ears. A shadow passed over the stargazer and he looked up to find the sun blocked by a tall figure.

"Savah? I'm lost."

But the voice that spoke was not the gentle Mother of Memory. "Do not be afraid, child."

He struggled to see the face hidden in shadow and gasped when when she gracefully knelt at his side. "I know you - from the Scroll of Colors."

"The Scroll, yes. So very long ago." The High One was clad in soft blue robes and had long flowing silver hair. "I can help you find it."

Skywise shook his head. "We found the palace, I'm looking for something else."

Kindly, Sefra smiled. "What are you looking for then?"

"I - I don't remember." The small stargazer thought hard but only knew that he had to find something and that it was terribly important.

"Then let me help you look." She held out one finely boned hand and helped him to his feet. "Where did you lose it?"

Again Skywise shook his head. "I don't know. In the desert?"

They walked through the burning sands, the sun never moving until they reached Sorrow's End. There was no one in sight and calling out was met only with echoes. The immortal Wolfrider looked helplessly at the High One. "It's not here."

"Not any more." Sefra agreed before turning away from the village. "Where should we look next?"

"The great forest. Maybe I lost it there."

As is the magic of dreams, they were suddenly walking through a silent forest, toes sinking into the loamy soil and brushing past hanging moss. It was completely peaceful and felt like home to the diminutive elf except for the absence of others. And out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw the ruins of the forest, burnt and rotted away. Again Skywise turned to the High One.

"I can't remember!" He held his head between his hands but nothing surged in his memory. The need to find what it was he was missing grew. "The snowy mountains. The Go-Backs must know where it is."

Still smiling softly, Sefra nodded and stepped lightly through the snow. It seemed like forever that they searched the frozen mountains that once hid the palace, desperation growing in the Wolfrider. When he at last collapsed to his knees in defeat, the tall stargazer gently laid a hand on his head.

"Perhaps this would help." The lodestone dangled from her fingertips, turning aimlessly on the braided cord.

When the Wolfriders were first forced from the holt, Skywise had made the lodestone into their palace, twisting locks of everyone's hair into the cord. "Do you really think it could?"

"Has it ever lead you astray before?"

"No, it never has."

Hesitantly, Skywise accepted the chip of magic stone and waited for it to point the way. When it stopped spinning, the silver haired elves took in the vast swaying grasslands. They walked together through the vast timeless land, following the path of the lodestone faithfully. Eventually their path lead them through vaguely familiar outcroppings and dry riverbeds. When he looked up, the Wolfrider was relieved to see the towering spire of Howling Rock.

The tribe was there, going about their daily lives, but no one acknowledged the silver haired elves. It was as if they were spirits walking among the living. Skywise was relieved to see his tribemates, and eagerly looked to each in turn, his search forgotten. But when he finished looking at the mix of elves, the feeling of loss returned worse than ever.

Sefra did not interfere with the smaller elf's quest, only waited for him to realize what he was looking for was not at Howling Rock. When Skywise turned to her, eyes full of disappointment, the High One raised her hand and pointed. A light shone among the jumbled rocks and the Wolfrider knew it was what he had been searching for. He took off running towards the light as fast as he could.

What he found was the glowing shape of an elf woman, flowing with a glorious radiant strength. The form was beautiful to the stargazer and he couldn't look away, nor would he have wanted to. Just being near the elf woman was intoxicating, like ripe dreamberries and dancing under the stars and Skywise felt utterly complete.

Unexpectedly the figure spoke, her voice warm but hard. "Name me."

"I don't know who you are." The Wolfrider hesitated unsure of her meaning.

"Name me." She demanded again.

"I can't."

"Name. Me."

A single syllable echoed through the stargazer's mind until he understood. "Kheel."

"Fahr." His soulname was spoken so softly he could only feel the caress. At last he was complete.

When his eyes opened, all Skywise could see was the dark stone ceiling of his den. As the shapes coalesced into a recognizable pattern of moon lot shadows, the elf threw off his furs. His entire body burned with the need to see Ember and he bolted from the cave.


	6. Head to Head

Everything recognizable is the property of Wendy and Richard Pini and WaRP Graphics. I just play with their toys

* * *

Head To Head

The chieftess had only left her new den for a few moments after a restless sleep but when she returned, she knew Farsky was not alone. Ember tensed, ready to attack and defend her child, unable to make out anything more than a dark shape near the pile of furs that held the cub. Hearing her approach, the figure turned to reveal Skywise's snowy hair and wide eyes.

"What are you doing here?" The fiery haired elf hissed, careful not to draw anyone's attention.

"I had to see you." Skywise moved close enough that he could grab her shoulders. "I finally understand."

She could see the Mother Moon outside reflected in his wide eyes but couldn't take a step back. "Understand what?"

"Recognition." Ember shook her head, not understanding and he elaborated. "I've recognized you."

Confusion turned to anger in a flash. "You have no right to say that!" All thought of others listening was forgotten and she broke her lifemate's grip on her shoulders.

"But I have." Skywise held his hands out, silently begging her to take them.

Instead, Ember brushed past the snowy haired elf and scooped up her cub. "Farsky has no father, you decided that."

"And I regret that."

The red haired elf's lip twisted up in a snarl and she sent her harsh words without holding back. [Stay away from us!]

At the force of the painsend, Skywise collapsed to his knees, clutching his head. When his vision cleared, the stargazer stood on shaking legs and turned away. Before he left, he spoke softly over his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Kheel."

Both elves could find no sleep in their dens, still shaking from the encounter.

* * *

Ember was torn when Skywise was nowhere to be seen the next day. While she was still furious at his sudden change of heart, she accepted the truth of what he said. Somehow, they had recognized each other separately. But the daughter of Cutter Kinseeker was stubborn and held on to her hurt.

Part of the fiery haired elf wanted to talk to her mother, or Redlance, but a larger part didn't want anyone to know. The tribe was already curious about the father of her child, and she didn't want them talking behind her back any more than they were. Conflicted, Ember paced her den, thoughts rushing through her head faster than she could think. Only when the constant movement woke Farsky, did she finally still.

The young chieftess' indecision held out until nightfall when she suddenly decided to see Redlance. But as she stepped out of her den, she was brought up short by a woven basket full of meat at the opening. Every cut had been carefully selected for flavor and texture and her stomach growled. Ravenous after being holed up in her den all day, the fiery haired elf devoured the gift.

The next night fell and Ember found a pile of sweet smelling flowers for her den. And then a braided necklace made from the tribe member's hair appeared the night after that. Young or not, the elf knew who was leaving the gifts and why, but she could not bring herself to seek out the silver haired elder as she had no idea what to say to him.

Ember wished for even the relatively simple recognition her parents had endured or the ease of being free of the bonding as the Go-Backs were. Her heart still cried out for his touch, and she wanted him to raise Farsky as a father and not just a tribemate. Yet his mistrust had taught her it was safer to guard her heart.

* * *

Skywise was surprised when his gifts had not convinced Ember to reconcile after a week and he was quickly running out of ideas. Timmain offered no more advice than to not give up and Redlance repeated that it may take a long time to change her mind. The silver haired elf had never imagined that someone could be more stubborn than either Cutter or Leetah had been. At a loss for what to do next for Ember, he wandered away from Howling Rock to look for ideas.

As the sun began its slow descent towards the horizon, Skywise's thoughts were interrupted by the Palace of the High Ones settling on the plains before him. Before the dust had cleared, the doors were thrown open and Suntop came tumbling out.

"Skywise! You have you come!"

"What's wrong?"

"There's no time, I need you to guide the palace!" The blond elf braced his hands on his knees to catch his breath.

"I can't leave."

"But I need your help."

Skywise had never been as torn over a decision before. He knew that if he left now, Ember would never forgive him and he would never know Farsky as his daughter. And as desperate as the blond was, he was sure the youth could solve whatever problem he faced."Suntop, I have to stay - Emb - my cub - I can't explain now."

The suny haired elf couldn't find the words to express his confusion, even as time flowed inexorably forward. Finally, the pressing matter of his emergency forced a response. "I understand. I won't be able to leave my cub either."

Suntop looked like he wanted to say more, but he returned to the High Ones' Palace and let the doors close behind him. Skywise watched the palace until it disappeared into the distance, hoping he had made the right choice. He had given up mastery of the palace before in order to be a part of the tribe, and now he had something even more important to stay for. But he couldn't help feeling like he had let down the twin.

* * *

Scouter was the first to opensend that the palace had returned and everyone scrambled to see where it had landed. When the fiery haired chief could barely make out the shimmering spires across the plains, she knew that her brother had come for Skywise. The silver haired elf could never deny the call of the High Ones so Ember resigned herself to being left behind and turned her back on the distant palace.

The young chieftess had walked aimlessly with Farsky, whispering all of the stories she could remember about the stars to her cub. Eventually she returned to her den, hoping to avoid talking to anyone at Howling Rock, but the one person she least expected to see was waiting for her, scratching Choplicker behind the ears. Skywise opened his mouth to speak first, but Ember cut him off in her surprise.

"You didn't go in the palace."

"I couldn't leave you and Farsky here."

Ember gaped at the older elf for a moment before closing her mouth with a click. "You can't just do something like that expecting me to take you back." There was no stopping the fiery haired chief once she got started. "Suntop wouldn't have come for you unless it was important and you didn't help him. How could you do that?"

Skywise blinked. And blinked again. No matter which way he chose, he couldn't win. If he had left in the palace, Ember would have felt abandoned and because he had stayed, she was angry for her brother. His eyes fell on the tiny bundle held close to the chieftess' chest and he knew he would do anything in order to be there for Farsky.

Apparently he had been silent for too long because the younger elf wrinkled her nose and stepped back. "Why don't you just leave?"

Ember disappeared into her den and Skywise hung his head in exhaustion. He knew she was only lashing out at him because she was angry and hurt, but it all seemed like too much at that moment. At a loss for what else to do, the stargazer took his lifemate's last words to heart and turned towards the grasslands.


	7. Head, Hand, and Heart

Everything recognizable is the property of Wendy and Richard Pini and WaRP Graphics. I just play with their toys

* * *

Head, Hand, And Heart

The young mother busied herself with caring for her cub to distract herself from her lifemate. It was true that Skywise had hurt her when he denied their recognition, but he had also more than apologized for his mistake. Yet every time she was ready to leap into his arms, more hateful words spilled out and she had no idea how to stop them.

Before much of the day had passed, Ember wanted to find the older elf but everything was so much more complicated when the stargazer was around so she put off searching him out. Finally, tanning leather with Moonshade had become tedious and she had helped Redlance gather more than enough roots. No one else could think of anything they needed help with and the sun was beginning to set.

Ember let procrastination convince her to put off seeking out the silver haired elf until the next day and attempted to sleep. The weather, however, seemed to have different ideas. A sudden storm blew up from Sun-Goes-Down, pushing dust into the sky that burned their eyes and lungs. All night and well into the day the storm blocked out the sun and kept the elves cowering under their furs. Only the occasional Sunfolk braved the harsh winds to bring water to the others.

To occupy their time, the elves kept up conversation around the dens through sending, telling stories and jokes. Ember listened to the idle chatter while she played with her daughter but her mind kept wandering to her estranged lifemate. She knew that he had left Howling Rock after their confrontation but she had no idea if he had returned before the storm. If he had, there was no reason to worry, but if he had been caught in the storm, he could be in trouble.

Silently the young chief argued with herself that the older elf was surely fine. He had survived much worse than a bit of wind. And then there was the undeniable niggle at the back of her mind that something had happened to the stargazer and he had more to deal with than just a storm. She pushed away the images of all the ways the silver haired elf could be hurt in the grasslands and focused on Farsky again.

A few minutes later and Ember was trying to peer into the unnatural darkness of the storm. The thought of Skywise in danger would not be ignored but she could never leave Farsky alone in the den and bringing her along would be dangerous in the storm. In an attempt to assuage her fears, the fiery haired chief tried sending to her lifemate, but there was no reply. He had long been out of sending range.

Finally, without consciously deciding on a course of action, Ember bundled her tiny daughter up in leathers, wrapped a fur around her head and shoulders and ducked out into the wind. The fiery haired elf slipped into her parent's den as they slept and carefully tucked Farsky into her mother's arms before facing the storm again.

There was absolutely no sense of direction in the blowing sands and hardly enough indirect light not to trip over the ground but Ember pressed determinately onward. With nothing to guide her except the need to find the stargazer, she wandered, sending blindly into the storm. The wind ripped and clawed at the thick pelt wrapped around her body and face, while the sand stung her legs and hands until she was sure blood was soaking into the ground with every step.

When the stubborn chief was finally considering giving up in her search, she was rewarded by the faintest tickle of sending against her mind. Pain and exhaustion fell away as Ember finally found a direction in the shapeless landscape. As the sending grew stronger, the fiery haired elf could finally make out words and she tried to move faster.

[Skywise?]

[Ember?]

[Are you safe?]

[Not really.]

[I'm coming, hold on.]

The storm seemed to push back harder against her small body, intent on keeping her from her lifemate but now that Ember knew he was nearby, nothing would stop her. After what felt like the passing of a moon, the chief could feel that she was close but she could see no further than her outstretched arm in the blowing dust.

[Where are you?]

[I don't know. I can't see]

[What happened?]

[I fell, but I don't know how far.]

Ember turned too quickly trying to protect her face from a wind gust and her boot caught in a leafless bush, sending her sprawling to the ground. As the High Ones would have it, the chief landed just shy of falling into the same hole as Skywise.

[I think I found you!]

Grateful to be out of the wind, the young elf climbed into the hole, careful not to knock any dirt down into the dark. It seemed that the ground had collapsed under the stargazer to reveal an underground hollow. But even with her elfin eyesight, Ember couldn't see anything in the hollow as no light could make it through the storm.

"Ember?"

"Keep talking so I can find you."

"I can't breathe. It's like being stuck in the mountain again."

The chieftess shivered at the memory of Blue Mountain despite having only been a child when she was there. It was an evil place, full of bad magic and broken dreams and they were lucky to have escaped. Ember shook her head to clear away the chill that stole across her skin and felt around.

Both elves gasped when their hands touched, surprised as much as relieved at the others presence. "What happened?"

"The ground just fell out from under me when I was trying to get out of the storm."

Ember nodded despite the darkness and followed the stargazer's arm until she realized he was buried in rubble, his hand free, but not nearly enough to dig himself out.

"You're stuck pretty good."

"I can't feel my legs, but I don't think they're broken."

"That's good because I have no idea how to get back to Howling Rock from here."

The fiery haired elf began pushing away dirt and rocks by feel, doing her best not to let anything shift that might crush her lifemate. She worked in silence, finally reaching his elbow and then his shoulder. As she cleared the rocks away from his face, she nearly poked the silver haired elf in the eye when he broke the silence.

"I'm sorry. I've done this all wrong."

"Don't be, I'm the one that should be apologising." Ember stopped digging and gently touched the stargazer's brow. "I was just too hurt and stubborn to accept the truth. And then I didn't know how to change."

"High Ones know I'm familiar with your stubbornness."

Even through the dirt and grime covering her hands, Ember could feel her mate smile. "Maybe we could try again and I'll try not to be so difficult?" She whispered the question hopefully, afraid of what his answer would be.

In the darkness of the hollow, Skywise closed his eyes and thanked the High Ones for small blessings.

[Kheel.]

[Fahr.]

Ember let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding and pressed their brows together, letting the joy of recognition wash over them until Skywise broke the silence again.

"How about getting me dug out so I can hold our cub?"

The stubborn elf sighed happily again. "Our cub."

Once Skywise's arms were free, he could help move the larger stones that had pinned his chest and legs. And as soon as the last rock had fallen away, the elves reached for each other in the dark. Ember wrapped her fur around their dirty bodies and they relearned each other's bodies as lifemates while waiting out the storm.

When the lifepair returned to Howling Rock after the dust settled, the rest of the tribe was busy cleaning the dirt from their dens to notice. Only Leetah had been watching for her daughter's return after having awoke to find Farsky in her arms. The healer spotted her daughter's unmistakable hair before realizing she was accompanied by Skywise.

Skywise and Ember parted at his den and the young elf bounded towards her mother. Leetah simply smiled knowingly and held out Farsky, relieved that the couple had survived the storm unharmed. She didn't push for an explanation as she had lived long enough to know when lifemates needed the time to come to terms with their recognition. And she rather looked forward to her own mate discovering who Farsky's sire was. Still smiling to herself about the unexpected revelation, Leetah decided she could think of no one better suited for her daughter.

Word quickly traveled through Howling Rock that Skywise had begun to den with the young chieftess but Cutter could not believe the rumors. All of the times he had seen his soulbrother with Ember, there was no sign that they had recognized. And the stargazer had been there when Farsky was born yet he had said nothing. Having no say in the matter anyways, the elder chief kept his surprise and pleasure at the bonding to himself.

Redlance cradled the tiny Farsky to his chest in a sling as he coaxed young plants to reach higher, smirking as he worked. Only Cutter's daughter would manage to make something as simple as recognition more complicated than human speech.


End file.
